sweatyeah:

Man forgets he is married after surgery (x)

This is adorable!

(Source: patrickmasturbateman, via clrama)

penis-hilton:

tumblr sure ain’t fucking around

(Source: cumdoodle, via clrama)

But is nash grier aware that no one likes him?

qenitals:

shopping carts in random places make me sad

image

there is nothing for you there friend

(via supermoclel)

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via clrama)

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via pizza)

terezidave:

fuckyoutubers:

do you have those memories that are really cringey and you never speak of and something triggers the memory and you want to fucking wash your brain out with bleach

image

(Source: littlexiutie, via fryingnemo)

peterpansexuality:

imminentdeathsyndrome:

Yeah, how dare she suggest that women learn how to defend themselves against victimization. [source]

Idk I mean it’s not a bad thing to learn self defense, it would certainly make me feel safer, but it is pretty tiring to constantly hear “learn self defense and protect yourself” 24/7 rather than hearing “we shouldn’t live in a world where women need to protect themselves, how about men stop raping people” stop justifying the fear that women live in and instead stop justifying rapists